Perfectionism and a feeling of unworthiness go hand-in-hand. When you feel unworthy, you strive to be perfect. If I do everything perfectly, then I will be loved and accepted! If I can be the best mom, the most tireless volunteer, the hardest worker, and do it all perfectly, I will be worthy.
So what is perfectionism? It is not about doing our best. We should all aim to do our best. Rather, it is about not allowing ourselves to make mistakes. For feeling unworthy when we don’t reach the benchmark we raised for ourselves. It is an impossible goal, for no-one is perfect. Perfectionism feeds into our lack of self-worth.
So does letting go of perfectionism mean we let go of our goals? Decide to ‘live and let live’? No! It does mean setting goals that are attainable, and forgiving ourselves when we slip-up. It means embracing our imperfections, knowing our limitations, acknowledging our vulnerabilities and choosing to love ourselves.